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Carry Your Heart
After Forever Series
Audrey Bell
Genre: Contemporary
New Adult
Date of
Publication: May 7, 2013
ISBN: 9781626207172
Word Count: 73,000
Book Description:
Champion skier
Pippa Baker lost everything in the avalanche: her boyfriend, his best friend,
and her will to win. After a year of grief, she returns to competition.
She finds more than buried memories and steep slopes in Utah. She finds Hunter Dawson, a heartbreaking daredevil with the gold medals to prove it. And she finds that his reputation doesn’t stop her from falling hard, and that her heart might not be as broken as she once believed.
But, Hunter has
scars and memories too—scars that make him believe falling in love might hurt
too much, scars that make him run.
Pippa knows how
much love hurts when it’s gone. Will she stop herself before she’s in too deep?
Or will she let herself fall?
Excerpt:
“I’m going to grab
a drink,” I say, badly wanting something to ease the nerves and excitement of
being back here. The last time I saw most of these faces was at Ryan’s funeral.
I shake that unpleasant, searing memory. Parker had been a pallbearer. Joe had
practically collapsed outside of the church. I shudder. Center myself in the
present.
You’re in a bar. Almost a year later.
I look around for
a bartender, and find Laurel instead.
“Hey!” she slurs
enthusiastically.
“Hey, Laurel.”
“Lucky break
today, huh?” she asks.
“Yep. You okay?”
She rolls her
eyes. “Fine. I was so fucking pissed.”
“It happens to
everyone,” I say with a shrug.
“Not to me,” she
tosses her hair. “So, you’re like back or whatever? For real?”
I nod. “I’m back.”
Hunter leans
further on the counter and looks down, past Laurel to me. “How’d you do?” he
asks. His eyes are locked intensely on mine. It’s a gaze that I can’t hold for
long.
“Third,” I say.
“Not bad,” he
smiles mischievously. “Told you I’d pray for you.”
Laurel shakes her
head as if she’s noticed that Hunter and I are talking for the first time. “Oh.
Hunter, this is Pippa.”
“Hey,” I say.
“We know each
other,” Hunter says automatically.
“How?” she
demands.
“We were on the
same plane here,” Hunter says. He watches me. He answers Laurel’s question, but
his eyes don’t leave me. “Philly, can I get you a drink?”
“Ah…” I glance at
him and at the bartender and at Laurel.
“Her name is
Pippa,” Laurel says.
“What do you
like?”
“Gin and tonic.”
He grins. “Country
club girl, huh?”
Laurel looks at
him and scowls. “Hunter, don’t leave without me. I’m going to say hi to all of my friends.”
She disappears
over to Brooke and a few of the men’s Alpine skiers. I watch her, curiously,
while a few of the male skiers let their eyes roam over me. They’re not
checking me out. It’s more of a haunted look. Like, I’m the ghost of a bad
memory they try to forget everyday.
They were the ones
who were Danny and Ryan’s best friends. The guys they grew up with, fought
with, all of that stuff.
And I’m the girl
who somehow didn’t die when both of their buddies did. I swallow. I know they
can’t look at me without thinking of them. I know that’s true for so many
people here.
“Hey,” Hunter says
softly, getting my attention. He has a beer and my drink.
He pushes the
glass towards me and leaves a twenty-dollar bill on the bar.
He steps closer,
sits down on a stool near me, and leans close, so I can feel the heat of his
body and smell his aftershave. I like being near him. It’s warm. It feels
dangerous.
“So are you always
this happy with third place?” he teases.
“No. Not usually.”
He nods. “Better
than second.” He rubs his chin. “Someone once told me that there’s nothing
worse than fourth place, because you’re the best person not to get a medal. But
I don’t think that’s true. I think second is the worst.”
I nod. “You finish
second a lot?”
He laughs. “Nah. I
finish first or I don’t finish at all.”
“You race?”
“Used to,” he
nods. “Not anymore. I do some freestyle stuff, half-pipe.” He smiles. “I
actually started snowboarding because I hated racing—when I skied. When I was a
little kid.” He bites his lip and cocks his head. “But, I like to compete.
Plus, I wasn’t any good on skis.”
“I doubt that’s
true.”
“No, it is…” he
shakes his head. “I raced your ex-boyfriend for a while. Danny?”
I nod. “Oh, yeah?”
“Back in middle
school. Ryan, too. Ryan was fucking good.
Everyone always told us to try and do it like Ryan.”
I flutter my
eyelashes briefly, remembering how quick and graceful Ryan was. Even my dad,
who knew little about competitive skiing, said so when he watched him race.
“The Snow Cat.”
“Huh?”
“Ryan the Snow
Cat. That’s what Danny called him—always landed on his feet.”
Hunter nods. “You don’t want to talk about this.” He moves
a little closer.
“We can talk about
it.” I don’t mind telling Hunter about them—he barely knew them and he seems
barely curious.
“But you don’t
want to.” His hair is combed back, in soft dark waves, and his eyes are big,
green and glassy. The color of celery. He lifts the dark Budweiser bottle to
his mouth and takes a long sip of beer. God, he looks good.
He wipes the back
of his mouth with one hand, a lazy, athletic gesture that makes me look at
lips, soft and…shit, Pippa, you cannot be
doing this right now.
I finish half of
my drink in one swallow.
“Thirsty?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Nervous.”
He raises an
eyebrow. I wish I could do that.
“Yeah? Do I make you nervous, Pippa?”
I blush. Stupid
admission. Yes. “You’ve decided to
call me Pippa?”
He smiles. “I feel
weird buying someone named Phil drinks.”
“Ah, got it.”
He leaned forward
onto his arms. I smell the alcohol on his breath; he’s more than a little bit
tipsy at this point. “So, did you feel it change?”
“What?”
“Everything.”
“When?”
“Today.”
“I didn’t feel
anything change.”
“When you finished
third,” he bites his lip and slides even closer to me. He leans and whispers in
my ear. “You know, nobody feels sorry for you anymore. Now that they think you
might be in the way again.”
I look back, over
the people I know, and then up at Hunter. “Everyone here is an adult. We all
want the same thing. We know that.”
He laughs. “You
think Laurel’s going to go quietly if you keep beating her?” He shakes his
head. “I saw you go today. You weren’t even trying. If I could see that, then
I’m sure everyone else could”
“I was trying.”
“Not like you used
to.”
“You never saw me
ski before, so…”
“I know what
playing scared looks like. Trust me. I was that guy for a long time,” he nods.
He looks down at the bar.
“What’s your
point?”
“Nothing.” He
shrugs: “You seem like a cool girl. And I know what it’s like. One year I was
the down on his luck kid and everyone was happy to see me win. The next year, I
was just the competition. And I couldn’t figure out why people I thought were
friends weren’t my friends anymore. Things change when you win. When it’s you,
you’re the last person to realize what’s happening.”
I nod. “Oh, and
you’re just looking out for me?”
“You don’t have to
believe me.”
“No,” I say. I
step back. “I never said I didn’t believe you. Thanks, I guess.”
“Laurel hates your
fucking guts, by the way.”
“Yeah. So I’ve
heard.”
He shrugs, not
saying anything back to me.
“So, what’s your
deal with her? She’s your girlfriend?”
He takes a long
sip of beer, buying a little more time. He swallows and smirks. “I guess it
depends on whether you want to come home with me.”
A flush rushes to
my face. I didn’t think I seemed that easy. Or like I wanted him that badly.
“Excuse me?”
“Do you want to
come home with me?”
I stare at him.
“How much have you had to drink?”
“Not that much,”
he shrugs. “Interested?”
“No,” I say
indignantly.
“Yeah, then, sure.
I guess she’s my girlfriend.” I stare at him for a few seconds.
“I…”
“What? Changed
your mind?” he asks wickedly.
“No.” I shake my
head. “Have fun.”
“I’ll try,
Philly.” It really doesn’t seem like he cares that I’ve said no, and he
definitely doesn’t care if I’m pissed off. But I am pissed off—both by the
question and by the fact that he’s leaving with Laurel so soon after asking me
if I wanted to go home with him.
Review:
Phillipa “Pippa” Baker has been to hell and back trying to
carve a new life for herself. As an Olympian hopeful, Pippa was on the fast
track, young, in love, talented, until an avalanche took it all away. A year later her former coaches relentless perusal to get her to return to downhill skiing has
her giving it one last shot, before walking away for good, but everything about
it reminds her why she loved the sport in the first place.
As If a new star wasn’t enough, Pippa forms an unusual friendship
with Hunter Dawson, a snowboarder whose talent on the snow and off has earned
him quite a reputation as a bad boy.
Pippa sees past the image he portrays and a delicate relationship
ensues, but both have a problem letting go of their past and outside influences
are determined to tear them apart.
Excellent story, I thought there was a lot of realistic
issues Pippa and Hunter faced. Both were
not the best at communicating with one another in the sense of true feelings
they had but they manage to fight their way back, when they need each other
most. Would definitely read more from
this talented author.
About the Author:
Audrey Bell lives
in New York City, where she indulges her SoulCycle addiction and expresses her
passionate hatred of the 6 Train. You can find her reading in Central Park,
overcaffeinating at Starbucks, or trying to kidnap her neighbors’ Maltese
puppy. She loves hearing from readers. Check out her blog at
audreybellbooks.blogspot.com.
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